Five tips against loneliness from student adviser Roos ter Elst
Your student days are the best time of your life, full of parties and friendships for life. Right? Well, not always. Especially at the beginning of your studies, chances are you will feel alone from time to time, but even after that, it is normal to have to get used to this big change and feel lonely at times. Student adviser Roos ter Elst offers some tips.
‘We know from research that two-thirds of 16 to 25-year-olds feel lonely at times,’ Ter Elst explains. ‘And this is not just about the cliché image of a student sitting alone in a room night after night. Contrary to what we often think, you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. You can also feel very lonely in a full student association building.’
So loneliness is to some extent part and parcel of student life and life in general, but that doesn't mean you cannot or should not do anything about it. Ter Elst: ‘Protracted loneliness can lead to people suffering from anxiety, tension and shame. Know that you are not the only one. It's not crazy to feel this way. Technically, it is a signal from your body that you are lacking something, just like being thirsty. It can set you in motion.’
The following tips can help you do this:
1. Find out where your loneliness comes from. Would you like more social contact? Or is it more that you feel alienated? Once you know what makes you feel less connected to others than you would like, it is easier to do something about it.
2. Share with people that you sometimes feel lonely. As with all problems: talking helps. It may be scary to bring up such a vulnerable topic, but it can help to get recognition or acknowledgement of your problem. Another option is taking Gezonde Boel's e-health module on Loneliness.
3. Choose who you follow. Social media is supposed to provide a sense of connection, but it can actually reinforce feelings of loneliness. Do you feel bad scrolling past people who seem to be having cosy parties non-stop? Then don't look for a while, or consciously seek out other content.
4. Stay close to yourself. No one expects you to party five nights a week when what you actually like is a deep philosophical conversation in someone's room. Think about the activities that help you recharge your battery, and find people to join you, for instance by posting a call on the Acts of Kindness pillar in your faculty, or checking the Student's Wellbeing Roadmap for fun activities.
5. Go and see the student adviser. Although the name may suggest otherwise, study advisers are not just there to help you with matters directly related to your studies, like planning and deadlines. They can also help you find your way in other areas, or work with you to find out why things are not going so well.
Sign up for Summer Support Group
Sign up for Summer School Language and Linguïstics
See here for a complete overview of Summer Schools.
Listen to the Studenticast episode about Loneliness or de Ted X: You are not alone in your loneliness.